A Rush and A Push
by ShisouEimin
Summary: Logan tries to be the good guy, but James is drunk and horny and won't take "no" for an answer and well, Logan is only human.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush**

**Title: **A Rush and a Push-

Logan amazed himself when he was able to get James into the car without any kind of injury to either of their persons. But then James breathed heavily into his ear as he leaned across his body to buckle him in. Suppressing a shiver, he swallowed thickly and glanced at the other boy but James just looked back at him with a glazed look in his eyes and he shook it off, grabbing the buckle with the intent of fastening him into place so they could head home. Just as the latch clicked into place, though, he felt something warm and wet trail the outer shell of his ear and that was definitely James' hand on his ass giving it a sharp squeeze. He couldn't help the squeak that escaped him as he jumped up, his head smacking the roof of the car with a loud thump.

And well, so much for that.

"Fuck!" he cursed loudly, his hand flying to the back of his head as he stumbled away from the car. "Dammit, James! What's wrong with you?" He heard James giggle and he glared at the boy who looked up at him through half-closed eyes, a loose smile on his face before shaking his head. "Wait. Don't answer that…"

"Mmm, are you taking me home, Logie?" James asked, his words slurring together horribly.

Logan shot him an annoyed look, but just sighed, not bothering to reprimand James for using _that_ particular nickname. James was so messed up; he wouldn't even hear him. The boy probably wasn't even aware of over half of what he had done or said in the past two hours. "Yes, James, I'm taking you home," he said instead then slammed the car door after making sure all of James' body parts were _inside_ before making his way around the front of the car, his head still throbbing in pain.

They rode in silence, Logan keeping his eyes glued to the road in front of him. It was proving to be a difficult task with James shifting and stretching beside him making soft noises that made him want to turn and see what he was doing. He finally gave in at the first red light they got to and turned to look at the other boy. He found James staring at him, eyes more focused than before but with the same easy smile spread across his face.

Logan swallowed thickly, his skin prickling under James' intense gaze. Suddenly, James' grin widened, showing a slim slit of teeth shining in the dim light and Logan quickly turned to look back out the windshield, his heart hammering in his chest. He saw him move out of the corner of his eye, but still flinched when James placed his hand on the back of Logan's neck running the pad of his thumb along the line of his neck.

"What are you doing?" he asked, leaning away from the other boy's touch. He couldn't move far and James' fingers stayed firm on his neck.

James shook his head, "Nothing," he said, innocently, his fingers brushing softly through the hair at the nape of his neck. Logan tensed at the sensation, hands clenched tightly around the steering wheel to keep from shuddering.

"You're really cute, ya know," James whispered loudly, almost thoughtfully as his fingers continued to caress the sensitive skin of Logan's neck.

Logan's felt his cheeks heat up at the words, and he shrugged awkwardly in an attempt to get James' to stop touching him, not that it worked. He didn't say anything though because the light changed and he pressed down on the gas, his attention back on driving. He also hoped that James would get bored if he just ignored him.

Of course, Logan should've known that James was too stubborn for that. A few moments later and James' hand slipped from gently touching his neck to rubbing his inner thigh. "Whoa! James, what are you doing?" he yelled, voice coming out at a slightly higher pitch than normal. He quickly grabbed James' hands, fingers wrapping tightly around his wrist and lifted his hand away.

James chuckled in response, shaking his hand free from Logan's grip. Logan looked at him quickly, wondering what he was doing. He saw James grab the seat belt strap across his chest before he was forced to return his gaze back to the road.

Before he knew what was happening, James was leaning across the small space between their seats, hand reaching between his legs to cup him firmly, his other hand wound itself into his hair. Then he was mouthing at his jaw, mouth hot and wet against his skin and Logan's eyes fluttered shut briefly, a low groan escaping between his parted lips.

He shook himself out of it and slapped James' hand away, his other gripping the steering wheel tightly. "James, seriously. Stop. You're drunk," he said, breathing deeply before digging his elbow gently into James' chest, trying to push him away.

James giggled, pressing against Logan's elbow until he finally receded, not wanting to hurt the other boy. "So?" he asked before placing his mouth back on Logan's neck, this time trailing kisses along the tense line of his neck. "Come on, Logan, you're acting like you don't like it. I know you do."

Hands fumbled at the front of his pants and Logan's eyes closed briefly, trying to keep his resolve intact. He hated that James was so confident, like no one could resist him. But he hated that he was right even more. He clenched his jaw, his hands tightening around the steering wheel as he tried to concentrate on driving and his words, "So…you're drunk and you don't know what you're doing right now," he said, exhaling sharply as James' tongue ran heavy along the path he just kissed.

James laughed softly, "Does this seem like I don't know what I'm doing?" He whispered into Logan's ear as he finally managed to pull Logan's pants open, hand slipping under his boxers, causing him to jerk forward slightly as James' fingers wrapped around him.

"Ok, may-maybe you do know what you're doing. But you're still not thinking straight. So just stay on your side of the car," he said, voice shaky as he struggled to keep his breathing even. He tried to shove James away then, hand firm on the middle of his chest.

But James grinned and squeezed him gently, his grin widening as Logan let out a helpless moan. "It's cute that you think I'm actually going to listen to you," he said, pressing against Logan's hand until he was in his space again, nuzzling against his jaw.

He visibly shook, taking a deep breath before gripping James' wrist tightly and firmly pulling his hand away. "James, I'm serious," he started, keeping his voice as firm as he could. He elbowed him sharply in the chest and when James winced and back away, he shoved him to the other side of the car. "Stay right there," he added, pointing at the other boy firmly.

James surprised him by grabbing his hand, moaning lightly as he did so, "God, you know how hot you are when you try to take control like that," he said, then wrapped his mouth around the tip of his finger, sucking it down, his tongue running along the length of it.

Logan gasped, and snatched his hand away, finger receding from James' mouth with a wet popping sound. He swallowed and gripped the wheel tightly in both hands. That had just made images of James' mouth wrapped around other part of his body develop stark in his mind's eye. And he didn't even try to stop James as he moved close again, fingers wrapped around his cock once more as he sucked on the sensitive spot behind his ear, "Please, James…" The words came out soft and broken with desire and he didn't even know what he was asking for anymore.

James moaned against his neck, "Begging is good too," he said, and Logan closes his eyes for a moment, biting his bottom lip sharply. His defenses were quickly crumbling around him and he was so close to just giving into James. He was just right there, surrounding him. The scent of alcohol and smoke permeating the small car, but there was also the unmistakable scent of James' Cuda products that he loved. And it'd been so long since anyone had touched him like that, had wanted him like that.

A car honked as it zoomed by causing Logan to jump, his eyes snapping open. He realized that he was drifting into the lane beside his and quickly jerked the car back into its proper one. He gasped for breath, "James, I swear, if we get in an accident because of you I'm gonna – " his words were cut off with a moan as James ran his thumb across the tip of his dick, causing his hips to jerk forward and his foot to press down harder on the gas for a second.

"You'll do what," James whispered gruffly into his ear, hand massaging him roughly. He struggled to keep his eyes open, wanting to just close them and lose himself in the feeling. His hand fell into his lap, grabbing James' to push it away.

Not that it mattered, because it was back a second later, this time slipping under his shirt to teasingly caress his bare skin, nails scraping gently across his stomach. Logan breathed heavily, shuddering at the touch. "Stop it. You're gonna make us crash," he gasped, using his elbow to push James away from him.

James' tongue curled around his ear, tracing the outer shell, "Then pull over," he whispered, breath moist and hot in his ear, and he shivered again.

"_What_? No!" he exclaimed, leaning away from the other boy as best he could in the small space.

"Come on, Logan, pull over _and I'll let you fuck me_."

Logan let out a groan, his eyes fluttering shut briefly and he almost slammed on the brakes right then and there. It was all just a little too much. He was only human. And he had to commend himself for resisting as long as he had. But when it was _James Diamond_ whispering huskily in his ear like that while his hand was shoved down his pants, it was impossible to hold onto any sense of morality.

He exhaled shakily as James' mouth found a spot on his neck and began sucking and quickly surveyed the surrounding area. He spotted a vacant parking lot in front of a local grocery store and quickly flicked the blinkers on to switch lanes and pull into it.

James pulled back when he stopped the car and he gave Logan a smug look that would've normally annoyed him, but at that moment, he really didn't care. "Get in the back seat," he ordered, causing James to break out into a grin before he unlatched his seatbelt and tumbled over the space above the front seats to get to the back.

Logan took a moment to take a deep breath, "I'm so going to hell for this," he muttered to himself before he leaned over and rummaged in the glove compartment to grab what he needed and then he was squeezing through the space between the front seats to get into the back as well. He let out a small yell of surprise when James grabbed him by his shirt and tugged causing him to end up sprawled across the other boy in the backseat, arms wrapped around his waist, "What took you so long," James mumbled against the side of his face before trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses along Logan's jaw and across his chin.

Logan let out a breathless laugh, pulling back slightly to show James the tube of lube in his hands. "I had to get this," he said, flushing slightly at the dirty grin that spread across James' face.

"Been planning this, have we?" he asked, amusement lacing his voice as his hands slipped under Logan's shirt, pushing it up.

Logan blushed harder, "No! It's just – it doesn't hurt to be prepared, ya know," he explained, shrugging awkwardly. It had actually been Kendall that had put it in there but he didn't want to mention that. He didn't even want to think about it and was glad when James distracted him by pushing his shirt all the way up and tugging on it until he lifted his arms.

James hummed absently in acknowledgement as he finally rid Logan of his shirt and tossed it to the front. "You always were the boy scout," he said distractedly, his eyes focused somewhere around Logan's neck as he ran his hands across the other boy's shoulder and down his arms.

James moved forward then and Logan inhaled sharply when he pressed his lips against his collar bone, teeth scraping against the skin gently as he opened his mouth to suck at it. Arms snuck around his middle, pulling him down as James leaned back against the backdoor. He reached forward, placing his hands against the car door above James' shoulder, bracing himself as he repositioned himself so he was straddling James' hips. He briefly thought about how awkward sex in the backseat of a car was, but he quickly lost interest in it when James' hands settled on his waist and he pressed his hips up against his.

Exhaling sharply, he leaned forward, pressing his lips against James, their lips finally meeting for the first time. It was wet and hot, James' tongue slipping between his lips to wrap around his own. He tasted of alcohol and smoke, reminders that James wasn't thinking straight which had Logan pulling back.

James caressed Logan's sides, hands hot against his skin, "Mm, what's the matter?" he questioned, licking his lips and looking up at him through heavily lidded eyes.

Logan closed his eyes and took a deep breath to steel his resolve and shook his head. He was half-suspicious that the other boy knew exactly what he was doing by looking at him that way. But there was another part of him telling him that James had no clue. "This is wrong. We shouldn't be doing this."

James rolled his eyes, "Oh, don't start with that again." He grabbed a fistful of Logan's hair and pulled him down, "You should really learn to stop thinking," he murmured, rolling his hips against Logan's once more as he crushed their mouths together.

Logan let out a choked off moan and tried to pull away, but James wouldn't let him, fingers tight around the back of his neck and hips working slowly against Logan's. He quickly surrendered, moaning hotly against James' mouth as he met James' hips thrust for thrust.

His hands slid down James' body to push his shirt up, wanting to touch and feel his skin pressed against his own. He tried to pull back again, but James still held him firmly. "Wanna take this off," he mumbled against his mouth and there was a moment of hesitation before James released him.

He sat up breathing heavily and James lifted his arms so he could pull his shirt off. He let it fall to the ground and looked down at James, hands spread wide across his chest.

James' mouth twitched into a grin, "Thinking again?" he teased, sounding just as breathless as Logan was.

Logan licked his lips quickly, his mouth forming a half-grin, "Just about what I want to do to you first."

James laughed, hands sliding up and down his sides, "Kissing is always a good start."

Logan laughed shortly and nodded, "Alright then," he said, moving down to place his lips against James' chest. He dragged his mouth down, tongue flicking across James' nipple when he got to it. He grinned slightly at the gasp James emitted and did it again, hoping for a similar response.

James moaned and ran his hands through Logan's hair, back arching as he moved down, kissing and licking his way down his stomach until he got to the top of his pants. He swallowed and sat up, fingers fumbling as he unbuttoned James' jeans and pulled them open. James' lifted his hips without a word and Logan pulled them off, tossing them to the floor afterward.

His eyes raked over James' body. He wanted to touch and taste every inch of exposed skin, but before he could decide where to start, James was grabbing his hand and pressing something into his palm. He looked down and realized it was the lube he'd grabbed earlier and had completely forgotten about.

"Fuck me, please," he half-moaned, like it was the only thing he wanted in the world. And at the moment, maybe it was.

Logan exhaled shakily and nodded, quickly shedding the rest of his clothing before he was situated on the backseat once again. His hands shook slightly as he popped the top off of the small tube, and squeezed some on his fingers. He'd never done this before. He'd had _sex_ before, but he'd always been on the receiving end of it. He had never imagined his first time to top would be in the backseat of a car with an intoxicated James. But there he was, insides trembling, as he pressed a finger into the aforementioned boy. His mouth parted slightly and he breathed slowly as James' inner muscles clenched around his forefinger. He was so warm, so hot, and his cock twitched slightly as he imagined all that tight heat wrapped around him.

He pulled his finger out and pushed back in, watching James' body writhe, hips moving slowly as he moaned softly. Logan added another finger and thrust into James slowly, curling and spreading his fingers to stretch him. He was surprised at how easy it was and wondered briefly if it was all the alcohol in James that was making him so loose, or if someone else had managed to get him like this. If some other guy had taken advantage of James' in his current state and a mixture of fierce protectiveness and guilt welled up in his chest at the thought.

But before the guilt became too much, he was rapidly distracted by the sounds James made as his fingers moved in and out of him - small huffs of breath and gentle whimpers escaping him as he fucked himself on Logan's fingers, hips moving blithely. He added another finger, thrusting faster and harder, licking his lips as he struggled to keep in control.

James' hips suddenly flew off the seat and he moaned low in his throat, "Oh, God, Logan, please…" he breathed and the words went straight to Logan's groin, making him pull his fingers out quickly and wrap them tightly around the base of his cock.

"God, James…" he moaned, closing his eyes tightly. He struggled to catch his breath; the air in the car was stifling, too hot and humid for him making breathing even more difficult. He felt hands grabbing at him then, sliding over his shoulders and down his arms, fingers wrapping around his elbow and pulling.

He opened his eyes to look down at James, who looked back at him with hungry and desperate eyes. "I want you in me now," he ordered, voice low and husky and Logan moaned again, nodding quickly as he moved to kneel between James' legs.

He grabbed each of his legs and draped them over his shoulders then slowly entered James. He moaned softly and bit his bottom lip to keep himself focused as he sank further into James. "Don't move," he said, words coming out on a strangled groan. He gripped James' hips tightly in both hands, eyes shut just as tight as he tried to center himself. He was too close, James a tight heat surrounding him. He knew he wasn't going to last long. But he didn't want it to end before it even began. He knew James wouldn't let him hear the end of it on the off-chance he remembered at all.

James, of course, ignored his words and continued to move, hips shifting subtly, his inner muscles working around Logan. His eyes snapped open and he glared at the boy beneath him, who just grinned back, "What's the matter, _Logie_? Is it too much for you?" he asked, tone light and teasing.

Still holding James' hips in both hands, Logan pulled his hips back only to snap them forward roughly. He chuckled breathlessly, taking immense satisfaction at the way James' mouth fell open on a gasp, his eyes widening somewhat.

But the feeling didn't last long, as James let out a small breathless laugh before licking his lips quickly, "Is that all you got?" he asked, provokingly.

Logan's eyes narrowed further before his mouth pulled back in a smirk and he leaned down, "Let's find out," he whispered heavily, before pulling out once more and thrusting back in sharply.

James moaned loudly, his hands coming up to grip at his shoulders, eyes shutting briefly, before he was grinning back up at Logan, "Come on, Logan, I know you can do _so much_better than that," he gasped out, eyes shining brightly in the dull light coming in through the windows.

His lips pulled back in a smile, even though he was sure it came off as more of a grimace and he began to thrust into James hard and fast. Too fast, probably and he shifted and leaned forward, looking for that perfect angle that had James crying out, back arching as his fingers scrabbled at his shoulders, trying to find some kind of purchase. He finally grabbed Logan by the back of the neck and pulled him down, lips sliding against his wet and sloppily, "Right there, Logan, please," he moaned into his mouth, tongue sliding across his.

"James…" he gasped, unable to form any kind of coherent thought. All his senses were focused on the boy before him; his hands and mouth touching anywhere they could, the soft moans and gasps he elicited every time Logan thrust into him. It was too much for him.

James must have seen something in his face. "Don't stop…" he begged, running his hands through Logan's hair, across his shoulders, down his chest, touching him everywhere, which didn't really help Logan's situation. "Soclose," he murmured frantically, "soclose…please…"

Logan let out a low moan, teeth digging into his bottom lip, needing something else to focus on as he wrapped his hand around James' cock. A few quick flicks of his wrist in time with his thrusts and James was coming with a long drawn out moan, his fingers digging into the skin of Logan's shoulder. After that, Logan let go, hips slamming into James as he tumbled over the edge as well with a choked off groan.

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the inside of James' knee, breathing heavily against the sensitive skin of his inner-thigh. He could hear James struggling to catch his breath as well and looked down. When their eyes met, James smiled up at him and reached forward, sliding a hand lazily down Logan's sweat-slick chest and stomach, then going around to rest against his hip, "Mm, that was good."

Logan sat down on the other side of the backseat, heart hammering in his chest. "Just good?" he muttered, reaching down to sort his clothes out from the pile of clothes that had gathered on the car floor. He couldn't help but feel a little insulted by James' assessment even though he tried to convince himself that he didn't care. That it didn't matter.

James sat up and dragged his fingers across Logan's shoulders, then leaned forward, placing his mouth against Logan's shoulder joint, "Way more than good," he murmured against the skin. 

Logan sighed and ran a hand through his sweat damp hair, resisting the urge to shrug in response, "Whatever. We need to get home."

James shook his head, "Noo," he said, his tone coming out slightly whiny. He wrapped his arms around Logan's torso and leaned back. "We should stay here."

Logan placed his hand on James' chest, pushing away from him. "No. This…was a mistake. A huge mistake."

James laughed shortly as he gripped Logan's shoulder, pulling him forward. Logan heaved a sigh and gave in, letting himself be pulling into the other boy's embrace. He laid there stiffly as James nuzzled against the side of his face, "Something that great couldn't possibly be a mistake," he murmured, hands sliding down the length of Logan's back.

Logan scoffed, "Oh, so now it was great?" he asked skeptically. He placed his hands on James' chest and pushed away from him, sitting up again. He let out an internal sigh of relief when the other boy let him go freely.

But he heard James sigh beside him as he finally managed to separate his clothes from James. "Come on, let's stay here," he tried to coax, fingers trailing gently down his arm.

"No!" he snapped, feeling agitated and overwhelmed. He was supposed to be the smart and responsible one. He was supposed to be able to refuse when one of his best friends threw themselves at him. But he hadn't. He had been weak and had let his hormones take over and now he was stuck with this hanging over his head. "Now where the fuck is my shirt?"

His outburst didn't seem to bother James though because the other boy just shrugged, stretching out in the backseat nonchalantly. "Idono," he said, his hand covering his mouth as he yawned.

His lackadaisical behavior annoyed Logan but he just exhaled heavily and rolled his eyes, trying to keep his cool. He had slipped on his boxers and was working on his jeans, "Come on, James, get dressed," he said, reaching down to grab James' pants. He tossed them at the other boy's chest and 'tch'ed when he pushed them back onto the floor. "James…"

The slight warning tone didn't seem to bother James either, and he uttered a simple, "No," while looking at Logan stubbornly.

"I'm not driving around with you naked in the backseat," he stated, feeling his irritation with James growing again. The thing he wanted most at the moment was to get back on the road, go home and get to bed.

James shrugged and closed his eyes, "Then don't drive. Let's stay here."

"James…" he sighed, closed his eyes tightly, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was really trying to stay calm and reasonable. But James was being so stubborn and _un_reasonable, he couldn't help but fling his arms out as he said, "We can't stay here, we're in the middle of a fucking parking lot!"

James opened his eyes and stared at him before he finally sighed and sat up, "Fine, whatever," he said, reaching over to grab his clothes off the floor. Logan watched him get dressed and with every inch of skin that was covered he relaxed a little more.

James glanced up at him, an eyebrow quirked in a silent question and he quickly averted his eyes, clearing his throat awkwardly. He spotted his shirt on the dashboard and clambered between the front seats to get to it, settling into the driver's seat once again. He quickly slipped it on, feeling a lot better once the fabric settled across his torso.

He still felt awkward and a little tense about the situation. This could change a lot of things between them and he didn't think he could handle another strained friendship. He mentally berated himself. He would've thought he'd learned his lesson after what happened with Kendall.

He sighed, shaking the thoughts away, focusing on the present. His hands trembled slightly as he turned the key in the ignition, and glanced back at James, "You ready?" he asked, a tiny tremor in his voice that he promptly tried to cover up with a cough.

James was staring at him and he really wished he knew what the other boy was thinking. His eyes were alarmingly serious considering the way he was behaving just a few minutes earlier. But he nodded and uttered a "Yeah," as he climbed into the front seat.

There was a moment of silence as Logan waited for him to buckle himself in and when James looked up at him again, he grinned, "We should do this again sometime," he said brightly.

Logan turned away from him and swallowed thickly before scoffing, "Yeah, sure," he said sarcastically and shifted the car into drive. "Next time you're drunk and horny, just give me a call. I'm always up for having my morals compromised."

James laughed but didn't say anything for which Logan was grateful because it meant that all he had to concentrate on was driving. But he could feel him staring and he felt himself flush at the intensity of it. They were almost home when he finally snapped.

"What?" he asked, in irritation, turning to glance at James, who was turned towards him slightly in his seat, a thoughtful look on his face.

But James just chuckled and shook his head. "Nothing. I was just thinking."

Logan waited a moment, but when the other boy didn't say anything else he couldn't help but prompt him, "About…?"

There was another moment of silence before James said, "What if I wasn't drunk?"

Logan glanced at him again in surprise, "What?" That was the last thing he was expecting from James and he wasn't sure how to even react to it.

"And what if I wasn't just horny? Would it be okay, then?"

Logan didn't respond as he parked the car and turned it off, trying to process the questions. He wasn't quite sure what to make of them, or what they could mean or if James was even being serious.

"Well?"

"Well what?" he asked, knowing he was being purposefully obstinate. But he really couldn't wrap his mind around what James' was asking. "I don't even really know what you're asking me, James."

James sighed and rolled his eyes, "Whatever, man," he said quickly unlatching his seatbelt and getting out of the car. He slammed the door hard, making the car shake, and then stalked off into the building, leaving Logan alone in the car.

Logan sighed and placed his forehead against the steering wheel. "Fuck," he muttered to himself, "I need new friends." Except this time, he wasn't so sure if it would be his choice anymore.


	2. Alternate Ending

**A Rush and A Push: **Alternate Ending (Or the one in which Logan perseveres in the face of temptation…sorta.)

"Come on, Logan, pull over _and I'll let you fuck me_."

Logan let out a groan, his eyes fluttering shut briefly and he almost slammed on the brakes right then and there. But he didn't. Instead he pushed James away one last time. "James, I'm not going to tell you again. Stay on your fucking side of the car and keep your damn seatbelt on or I'll leave you on the side of the road and let you _walk_ the rest of the way home."

James scoffed. "You wouldn't." The disbelief was evident in his tone and Logan glanced at him, keeping his expression as hard as he could.

Turning his attention back to the road, he said, "I so would." Even though he wouldn't really be able to do that to James, especially not in his current state and the time of night. And if James was sober, he might've realized that too, but as it were, he heard James let out a huff of incredulity and move. Another quick glance showed him that James had crossed his arms across his chest.

"Fine. Whatever. Probably wouldn't have been that great anyway," James muttered. There was a hollow thump and Logan assumed that James had let his head fall against the car window.

He kept his eyes trained on the road though, resisting the urge to look at James again. "Not like you would've remembered," he shot back without thinking. He felt like a jackass as soon as the words left him, but it didn't change the fact that they were true.

He heard James inhale sharply and shift again and he expected James to hit him, but what he got were softly spoken, hurt-tinged words, "You can be a real jerk sometimes, ya know that, Logan?"

The words hit him harder than James ever could and he spluttered for a moment. "M-Me? You're the one getting so drunk off your ass that you can't even walk straight and start fooling around with anybody within arm's reach. And then _I_ have to drag you away from some asshole trying to take advantage of you."

"No one asked you to do that. Maybe I _wanted_ to be taken advantage of by him," James argued and the words rang so false in the small car that Logan was forced to look at him, eyebrows raised skeptically.

James looked back stubbornly, mouth set and arms still crossed across his chest,

He clenched the steering wheel tightly in both hands, knuckles turning white. "Fine," he finally conceded with a stiff shrug of his shoulders, turning his eyes back to the front. "Next time I'll just let you drive off with whomever."

An awkward and tense silence settled between them then. Logan focused all his attention to the cars in front and around him, doing his best to ignore James' presence altogether. It didn't work. He was still very much aware of every subtle move James made. Every shift and every sigh made him want to turn to look at the other boy.

A few moments later and James leaned over, placing his head on his shoulder, his arm wrapping around Logan's waist. Logan glanced down briefly, but didn't say anything. It was a bit encumbering but James wasn't trying anything funny, so it wasn't much of a bother. "You're a good friend, Logan," he murmured and Logan just hummed in acknowledgement, fists clenched tight around the steering wheel. He felt James relax against him, his breath deepening and evening out and knew he'd fallen asleep and he tried to relax as well, knowing that a stiff shoulder wasn't very comfortable to sleep on.

He slowed to a stop at another red light and closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. The scent of alcohol and smoke still clung heavily to James but underneath it, the sharp scent of the Cuda products he used was unmistakable. This was James, his slightly insane, impulsive friend who liked to drive _him_ crazy sometimes. He couldn't help but smile at the thought, relaxing further.

The rest of the drive was quiet, James heavy against his side. When they got back to The Palmwoods apartments, Logan nudged him awake, causing him to groan and mumble something that he couldn't make out, burrowing his face further into his neck, his arms tightening around his middle.

Logan bit his lip and inhaled deeply as he tugged on James' arm, "Come on, James. Wake up. We're home." He nudged him again, elbow digging harder into his chest. He let out a small breath when James released him that time with a small moan.

He pushed James away from him so he was leaning back in the passenger seat and quickly unlatched his seatbelt and got out of the car. He went around the car to open the passenger side's door and grab James. He made sure the doors were locked before he draped James' arm around his shoulders, wrapping his own securely around James' waist.

Together they stumbled their way up to apartment 2J and up to James' room, where Logan deposited him on the bed, grabbing his shoulders before he could fall over. He chuckled a bit at how wobbly James was and made sure he was okay to sit up on his own before kneeling in front of him to take off his shoes. He was working on the laces of the left one when he felt fingers carding through his hair. "Stay with me," James slurred voice soft and thick with sleep.

Logan ignored him as he grabbed the back of his ankle, lifting his foot to pull his shoe off. He tossed it to the side before he quickly did the same for the other shoe. He leaned back when he was done, looking up at James thoughtfully. "You need to sleep," he said, getting back to his feet, and then added cheerfully, "You'll forget all about this in the morning and have a huge headache to make up for it!"

James groaned at his words and fell back onto his pillows. "But you'll take care of me, right?"

Logan laughed, leaning over to grab James' blanket and spreading it over his body. "I'm sure Carlos would be more than willing to take care of you." He hoped the mention of their friend would distract James and take his mind off of him.

But James looked up at him, eyes half-closed, but dark and serious. "I want you to do it."

Logan paused at the intensity of James' gaze and swallowed softly, "We'll see," he said, tucking the blankets around him gently.

James stopped him by grabbing his wrist, "Stay," he pleaded once again, thumb rubbing across the sensitive skin of Logan's wrist.

"Just go to sleep, James," he said with a sigh, pulling his hand free. He turned off James' bedside lamp and headed towards the door.

"It coulda been good, ya know."

Logan paused at the softly spoken words, swallowing thickly but he didn't say anything and quietly closed the door behind him as he left. He quickly made his way down the hall to the room he shared with Kendall and once there, he closed the door behind him, leaning heavily against it, a feeling of regret rising in him. He knew he would never get another chance with James and that feeling of a missed opportunity hung heavy over him.

He shook it off angrily, "I did the right thing, dammit," he reminded himself and let his head fall back to thump against the door aggressively. He closed his eyes and sighed, trying to clear his mind of everything. But all he could think of was _James_. The way he'd looked up at him as he put him to bed, the way he'd wrapped his arms around him in the car, resting his head against his shoulder.

He swallowed thickly, guilt and shame swirling around in his chest as his hand twitched at his side and he remembered warm breath brushing over his face and neck and a wet mouth that had licked, sucked and bit at his flesh while rough hands groped at him. He let out a shuddery sigh, his hand inching towards the front of his pants where he palmed his aching erection. The one he'd had for most of the car ride home and it was _killing_ him. He let out a hiss of relief at the contact, hips arching forward into his hand.

He licked his lips quickly, making a quick second decision before he was fumbling with his belt, trying to get his pants open as fast as he could. His heart thundered in his chest as he pushed both his pants and underwear down to mid-thigh and spreading his legs for stability, he quickly licked his palm thickly before wrapping his fist around his cock.

He breathed out as he began to work himself slowly. He was so close; it wouldn't take much for him to reach the end. He let out a low moan as his thumb brushing over the head of his cock, hips jerking forward. He imagined another hand on him, groping him and tugging at his belt insistently. And his hips and hand started moving more frantically, eyes shut tight as he felt the pressure build low in his stomach along with the guilt and shame as memory of James' soft lips brushing across his skin, breath warm and moist and words whispered huskily in his ear. _"I'll let you fuck me…"_ He clamped his hand across his mouth, muffling the loud moan that escaped him as he came, hips stuttering to a stop.

He slumped against the door afterward, hands falling to his sides as he took deep ragged breaths, trying to pull himself together. He looked down at his come-covered hand, face flushed before he thumped his head back again, his other hand coming up to cover his face in embarrassment. A sense of regret once again swelled up in him and he tried to find some kind of satisfaction in the fact that he _had_ done the right thing.


End file.
